you.me.and a thousand different ways.

Friday, October 13, 2006

i've always had real pride in teaching - i had a job that earned reasonably well, was something that i loved (though its really a love/hate relationship), and i was nurturing music into the hearts of these kids.

and though there have been countless times i've been frustrated and furious at the way these kids were playing (and how they were just eating up my time), i never gave up on teaching.

so it really stinks to have had the anticipation and excitement of collecting their result slips and having to see failing grades written all around them.

i know that i've done my best for these kids and i think the marker's really strict on them in general this time round, but i'm feeling quite stumped right now, having to face these kids and their parents within the next few days to relate the news to them.

i lack the ability to not empathise with them, because i care about them so much, and though i know some of them probably deserve these, i still have that guilt ringing and stinging around.

maybe it's self-inflicted, but everything just hasn't been going exactly in the way i had planned it to be.

though i also realise that i would have to learn to deal with these unhappiness and frustration as i continue to teach and establish this career for myself, but this is going to be quite hard.

18:51 | com[ments] |