you.me.and a thousand different ways.

Friday, July 21, 2006

i found it difficult to tune to the "back-in-school" frequency.

true, the idea of having someone familiar around for lesson should make it better, but it just didn't work for me this week.

spending time "ya kun-ing" with 13776 on tuesday and thursday, dinner with joanne on thursday, and cell tonight. it was an encouragement of sorts, a reminder that i'm not alone in this.

(and yes joanne, 13776 and i, we'd probably try to make an effort now. from once every 6 months, to once a week.)

i know sometimes i do push myself a little too outrageous, and end up getting very upset and disappointed with it - it's insecurities sometimes, that i'd admit.

having a certain name to yourself right before people know you well.. it does puts things at a certain edge (for me). there becomes a need to prove yourself (and others) wrong, that you're not what it would have been implied.

there's something more to this.

i realized, if we don't set goals for ourselves throughout our lives, we'd never be able to improve. i won't think that's being too adventurous - after all, the Lord has always wanted His children to prosper.

i don't want to live by the moment, or by the day. that's just not my style.

when you know of the gifts that the Heavenly Father has anointed you with, and you know of the wonderful things you can do with it, why not use it?

it might drive me crazy, but I know that Lord hears my every prayer and every cry.

and it just dawned upon me, that He's answering a prayer request now, but just not in the way i've expected it.

haven't you realise My child? that you shouldn't be expecting what you want.
it's what I know that is best.

but God, at the expense of these emotions?

you told me how you felt, My child. i saw your pain, your tears, your frustration.

realise now, My child: -
it's My plan for you, not your plan for Me to execute.

23:12 | com[ments] |