you.me.and a thousand different ways.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

aunt sheela's surgery wasn't completed because of complications. she was brought into the ICU, and needed a respiratory system to breathe. on friday, she looked really dreadful. painful. miserable. she couldn't focus, she looked so weak - it tore my heart apart. she couldn't speak, because of the GA that was placed through her throat, but when she tried to talk to me through hand gestures and her eyelids, i struggled to keep a straight face, and be brave for her.

we are trying our best to be optimistic, putting on a real brave front for her when we visit her. thank God she's out of the ICU, and in a high dependency ward instead.

they told us that since the bypass wasn't done, the amputation appears to be mandatory. oh my... how heartwrenching. how heartbreaking. how devastating. we're praying for a miracle. we're praying and seeking God's intervention still.

at the same time, i'm praying that we'd have the strength to accept what God's good for her will be.

went to visit her after today's service, and i thank the Lord she looks better. pastor ruth's right, god's presence is always with us. always. we're just not in-tune sometimes.

yet, i'll always remember today.

the first day where i led worship. that step of faith that i took. that challenge that the Lord gave me.

it was more than voices and music. it was obedience, submitting myself to Him, putting aside all cares and worries and trusting in Him. it was the Heart of Worship that was most important.

it was the peace of God that took me through.

it's a most humbling experience. to know that God's was there, smiling, happy, that we were just part of the a population of millions and billions worshipping the Lord. that our hearts were His.

it renewed what i know God's purpose was for me.
i want to be sold out to Him.

all of my days i will sing of your greatness
all of my days i will speak of your grace
all of my days i will tell of your wonderous love
your love in my life, your love

i thank the Lord that the songs were aligned with the message. that brought so much gladness, for i was so anxious about the selection of the songs initially. i was thankful that i had chose to be obedient with the songs that He had guided me to. i thank the Lord that pastor ruth and pastor phua were encouraging, that the worship team was supportive and very encouraging.

i thank the Lord that we are able to seek the goodness of God, in times where the situation looks bad.
i thank the Lord that we are able to see the greatness of God, in times where the situation appears defeating.
i thank the Lord that we are able to sense the closeness of God, in times where the situation looks dark.

18:59 | com[ments] |