you.me.and a thousand different ways.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can't watch you walk away
Could I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through?
Could I wake up without you everyday, would I let you walk away?

was actually penning my entry halfway through in the morning, but had to rush off because i had to work. couldn't even remember what it was that i wanted to write (in detail), but only remembered that it was one of the reasons that kept me awake last night.

seriously, these insomnia problems. headaches throughout the day, yet lying in bed to get some precious beauty sleep is like fighting the battle of goliath.

the thoughts going through my mind these past few days feels like a debate rally. we have the government and the opposition. no right, no wrong - just debate, debate, debate. sometimes yearn to iron out what's right and wrong, at least, can solve some of my worries, or have a clear idea of what to do. then again, i think i've learnt to realize that some things just aren't in my control, and i really should just surrender all my cares and worries to my Father above, who always does look out for me.

felt a strong need to clear brain trash this week.. where to place them, where to throw them, where to recycle them even. ran a dozen errands.. it was one of those weeks where, everything must off to a good start come monday stuff.

but 1 very important thing i realized a lil too late - and that was how he regarded and felt for his friends back then. not that i didn't care for my peers at that point too. it was just different, and i only really truthfully understood it now. those friendships with his friends might have indirectly caused the breakup of ours. of course, in my heart i'd say it was a third party, but i won't deny that friendships were a part of the many reasons.

surrendering all my cares was hard. still is that way. but the fact that i had been still, and waited for Him - and have that truth of the whole matter - it's amazing.

because, even though the answer came 2 years too late, it still brought peace in my heart.

and thankfulness, for what i have right now in my life.

and for the unconditional love all my dear ones (friends, family, God) have for me, thank you.

coz i really don't deserve this.

I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you
Now and try to hide the truth inside
I fail cause I just can't live a lie

And I don't wanna try

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