you.me.and a thousand different ways.

Monday, February 20, 2006

are you swimming upstream in oceans of blue
do you feel like you're sinking?
are you sick of the rain, after all you've been through
well i know what you're thinking

the thing about sunday's in church - they're always a time of self-reflection.

i sat there, thinking about my week. and what a week it was really. lots of ups, and downs, and ups and downs.

i learnt about scarifice once more, and how much i cared for people around me. some of the things that i've mentioned really were like scriptures to my heart, meant to be etched for a purpose.

God showed me a word today - "forgiveness". and that word was reaffirmed by aunt serene today.

forgiveness. forgiveness. forgiveness.

i forgive people? or vice versa?

but it hit me real hard. so i decided, "i'll be still." and let God work on me.

i thought about being patient, being understanding. being open-minded. about the changes in my life, all that was good and bad. about the people that i cared about, but hurt me time and again. about the people i hurt. about the things i wanted to, and yearned to understand, but somehow, still never did.

i thought about the tears that came so close to dropping at the thought of my friends' these few nights. i thought about the past. i thought about my family.

i thought about God.

i thought about my life without Him.

i thought about how He quietly was knocking on my door these few days to speak to me.

i thought about how He used people who were so important and dear to me, to hurt me. to tell me about the mistakes I made.

like a sword, it pierced through.

no matter how i try though, it seems to be a struggle. not much of a spiritual struggle, but my heart's struggle. of what's right or wrong.

things don't always work out, but i'm tired of trying to understand.

simply because, i've tried.

~~~

p.s i'm sorry if i had started all of your week in a rough note.

coz when you're in your darkest hour
and all of the light just fades away
when you're like a secret flower
whose colours have turned to shades of grey
hang on, be strong

02:46 | com[ments] |