you.me.and a thousand different ways.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

today, i turn 20. and what a milestone it's meant to be.

last night when out with my family for dinner.. my cousins.. or the G3.. we'll always be by each other no matter what.. i realized it last night when we went out for dinner, the laughter, the jokes, the honesty in comments.. you know that if you want the truth, you should just go to them. we had fun after that too.. went to check out furniture for anna's new place and even climbed into the new flat.. it was a real fun experience.. their butts hurt; mine was perfectly alright.

here's one of the reasons why i'm so thankful that i have no fats on my butt.. coz it won't make me feel so uncomfortable.

today.. loretta saved me from crying at home when she took me out to town. we walked around orchard.. from bugis, to plaza sing, to heeren, to takashimaya, to wisma, to far east, to isetan.. my goodness.. the amount of energy we spent walking.. it was so tiring and exhausting! but we had fun.. and i went to teach my mom's company's thingy also, and all those ladies, celebrated for me.. i was quite surprised by the three cakes that i got~! wow.. very much atonished actually! but it was real yummy.. time to go on a diet already i guess.. hahaha..

lor lor, thanks for everything. i really really really really really appreciate it..

may, i know you did a lot, and i appreciate it wholeheartedly, so thanks a million~!

~~~

i guess there's something that i've learnt to realize also in these few days, in these few incidents.

some good, some bad, some.. i don't know. the most important thing, or the most.. sad thing i've realized, is that some just don't care. i felt, or rather.. i feel so sad. and i still feel so sad. people that i care for so very much, didn't even remember it was my birthday today. people that i'd give an arm and a leg for, probably just treat me like.. cow dung. i'm sorry i used this word, but that's really how i feel. i can't remember how many times have i looked at my handphone wishing that you would send me a message to wish me well. i can't remember how many times have i hoped that somehow or another you will remember. but.. i didn't.

these few days led me to think about a lot of matters. i'm starting to wonder where i stand in people's lives. and whether or not my presence is a blessing, or a nusiance. or maybe just a irritating pest who just.. i don't know. lousy pest maybe.

but now that i'm 20, things will change. new outlook on life. on my life. i'm not a girl, not yet a woman. i'm just someone figuring out who and what my identity is.

god, i'm so amazed, and i give you praise, for you would save us at such a cost. i thank you for everything that you've annointed me, and i pray that you'd continue to take care of me and bless me with what you have in store for me. i am able, use me.

may, thank you for being my sis. you are a blessing. thanks for everything.

cousins, thanks for being a part of my life. i wouldn't have survived without all of your laughter, jokes, lameness, and pure honesty. thanks for loving me.

loretta & taoying, thanks for being there. and being a part of my life. our friendship.. rock steady! thanks for everything.. you know i wouldn't ask for another bestie (loretta), or another daughter/twin (taoying). thanks for making the imperfect me better in someway or another.

serene & joanne, thanks for being there. i really appreciate it.

friends, thanks for being my listening ear/shopping partner/snacking mate/junk food addict/vcd freak (you all know where you all stand) whenever i needed. i really really really really really really appreciate all of your friendships.

the rest of my family, i am so thankful i have allllllll of yooouu in my life. i wouldn't have asked for a better mahjong partner, eating buddies, television buddy ever. especially little kaile.. thanks for making me feel sooooooooo loved!! (even though you're only a dog..)

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