you.me.and a thousand different ways.

Friday, March 11, 2005

since joanne has asked, i shall write a little.

the interview's gonna be in a few hours.. a little nervous. starting to have stomach pains and all. but i'm sure in the end i'll be fine, because i have God. He'll watch over me and take care of me.

seems to me all my friends are going through this broken-heart phase.. just want to tell all of you that i'm here for you ok?

projects have come to an end. thank god for his amazing grace. He performed a wonderful miracle for me at my IB project. I know He did. let me share it..

I was supposed to wake up at 4am on Thursday to look at my IB report & presentation. which would give me about 3 hours to edit the report, and prepare my presentation. but i didn't hear the alarm clock go off at 4am. and only woke up when i heard may's movements around the room.

it was 638am.

i woke with a startle, but something inside told me : "it's ok. you'll be fine." and i felt such a strange peace enveloped me. so i woke up, brushed my teeth and went to turn on the pc. then another shock:

meh meh didn't email me the report.

goodness.. i started to panic because i'm not sure if she was awake. if she wasn't, i might not be able to make up for the 9am lecture at all! so i quickly sent her a message, telling her that i've yet to receive it. but thankfully, she was awake, and the report came to me. then another shock:

there was a michael porter chart attached as the appendix.

i'm in charge of this michael porter analysis for the report, and it didn't occur to me that i needed it or anything. until the night before when i read through the report. but i didn't have the time to look for the chart on the net anyway. but it was there. as an appendix. i have no idea who put it there, but whoever it was, it saved my life.

god watched over me these last few days. he really did. i kept praying that he'd look out for me, pray that he'd bless me with an even temper, pray that i'd find the strength to endure what's ahead of me these few days. and i did. the presentation might not have the best that i did, but with all that's been going on, i was confident of what i did, and i knew that it was because of Him that i was able to survive.

there were many times where i was very discouraged, disheartened, and even disappointed at the way things worked out. the accusations, the hurtful words i heard. what my mom told me once again banked into my mind:

"sometimes people take your kindness in the wrong way, and you end up being maligned."

is the moral of the story something like, "do not be kind and nice?" or, "do not care for your family & friends & loved ones?"

i'm confused. but then again, it has come to an end. and i can trimuphantly stretch out my hands and tell myself, i did it! and i'd tell you, this semester is the hardest of all 6 semesters.

but this semester is also the time where i've learnt to depend & trust on Him completely. and it's true. he answers my prayers.

who says you should only witness a miracle before you believe in Him?
if you don't believe in Him, you won't see the miracle.
don't ask god to perform a miracle on you for your confirmation on His Presence.
if you don't believe in Him, you won't see the miracle.

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