you.me.and a thousand different ways.

Monday, February 14, 2005

what a nice weekend i had! spending time with my friends from Poly Forum is just great, celebrating serene's birthday and all. it was so nice to see everyone after such a while and comment on everyone's latest look. let's see who's there: serene, joanne, myself, trigger, daniel, marcus, terence & stewart. stewart's new hair make him look skinner than ever, terence's too for that matter.. and daniel's hair looked.. longer and well, not so sly-ish anymore. and i was wondering if marcus permed his hair! it looked a little.. more uncle then usual. *oops!* but of coz the girls look more or less the same. i'm so glad serene loved the watch! too bad we didn't have the energy to stay till late, and of coz, me being the cinderella does makes things a little harder for others to bare.. but i love the fondue we had! it was so yummy!

and of coz.. the other news that was just terribly shocking.. i'm not fully recovered yet, but i guess it has set in more or less by now..

cheeky: we've all been friends for the past 7 years and girl, you know how much we all love you, how much we all care for you, how much we want you to be happy. i just want you to be happy so very much. overwhelmed with shock is what we're all experiencing but we just want what's the very best for you. don't you dare hide anything from me anymore, because i can't have another heart attack! and i have to say this.. though i hadn't met him yet, but i love orion!!

the rest of you girls: please please please please make sure that you all update me regularly on your status quo ok? i cannot fathom such shocks in the future.. and i don't think anyone of you can do that too! i love you all! and let's just put all our love for each other to the latest addition to our family! *hugz & kisses*

~~~

was looking upon today with great joy and excitement.. my valentine's day was going to be spent with my other 2 beautifuls.. and though i don't look that great or fab now, at least being with great company would put a big smile on my face..

until i started playing the songs on the player, and for no reason, i started to tear as i was singing along to the song.

tearing because the meaning of the words have impacted me so much harder today than it has ever before.. tearing because the damage that was done was like this little alarm that decided to blast out loudly today.. tearing because..

because of all that's in the past.

somehow or another, we won't be able to erase the memories that will be there.. etched forever. unable to remove, tough to erase.

of course i know that i'd still be able to enjoy myself this evening & i'm looking forward to my first valentine's day single in 4 years as well. just that the memories will be there and i guess when we see the couples on the roads it might just hurt a little.

but it's really just an ordinary day and if you have someone whom you love dearly, it would be valentine's day for you every day. i guess it just hurts at some point or another every day in our lives. but today, it might just end up hurting a little more.

the truth is, i love what i have now. and i wouldn't have gave up anything in the past for what's mine now. even if it was for someone whom you think you'd love with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength. if he can't be a part of you or understand you truly, there's no point.

but i know what i want now..

i want a man who'll lead me down to the beach with his hands over my eyes, just so i can discover the feel of sand over under my feet.
i want a guy that'll wake me up at dawn because he's bursting to talk to me. can't wait another minute, just to find out what i'll say.
i want a man who'll walk me to the bus stop downstairs, just so he could look at my smile.
i want a guy who'll love me, the way i ought to be loved.

~~~
you: thank you for the beautiful flowers. god only knows how much you care for me and in my heart, i yearn to know the true extent of your love, your understanding and how much all these can stand through trials. but these things take time i know, and i hope to be able to unearth the truth of what really matters. i just pray that i'd have the courage to do it, because the girl you see now is no longer the same as the girl you knew.

12:53 | com[ments] |